Five Sexy Movies That End Badly

October 23, 2015
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Why would you want to watch a movie you know is going to end badly? The answer is, I don’t know. But we all do it. We either love the hard-hitting drama or we just want to be entertained. Maybe we want an ending that shakes us up and makes us think, one that pulls us out of our daily doldrums by injecting some semblance of tangible, sexy devastation. If you want to get turned on and feel your throat hit the floor, here are some movies that’ll get you there. If you haven’t seen these, fear not: there are no spoilers here. You already know it doesn’t end well. You just don’t know how.

I knew nothing about this movie before I watched it, which is probably the best way to see it. So I won’t tell you anything except that it’s a decidedly unique take on the end-of-the-world apocalyptic genre that’s been shoved so far up our asses the last 10 years. It’s character driven rather than driven by well-choreographed zombies. It’s sexy and it’s bleak and that is why it’s on this list. It’s annoying at times and it’s no Oscar-winner, but the ending, especially after all that good sex, is like a punch in the gut. I’m not saying you should watch it, but I’m not saying that you shouldn’t.

ON THE ROAD (2012)
If you’ve read Kerouac’s book, you already know how this ends. Still, spending two hours essentially watching Sam Riley and Garrett Hedlund drenched in sweat, writhing around in speed-soaked, booze and jazz-fueled orgies and yee-hawing in the front seat of the speeding car while Kristen Stewart sits naked between them and jerks them off simultaneously might make you care just enough for it to mean something when the shit hits the proverbial fan.

Gary Oldman’s a lucky guy. He’s got Annabella Sciorra as his hot wife, he’s got Juliette Lewis in fishnets on the side, and he’s the cop assigned to the case of a garter-belted, one-armed sex-pot killer played by Lena Olin. He’s got it all. For a minute, he actually believes it.

Here’s what I’ll say about this: It doesn’t just end badly. It starts out bad and gets progressively worse. There is never one glimmer of hope throughout the whole movie. You think it can’t get worse, BUT IT DOES. It’s relentless. The thing is, director Aronofsky is masterful at telling this story that it is kind of worth it. If you like to look at Jennifer Connelly (and who doesn’t), then there’s that. But also, there’s the double dildo scene that, well, may or may not make you feel uncomfortable depending on what you’re into. Hey, give it a try!

First of all, putting Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling together was an inspired move. Who wouldn’t want to see those two get it on? The scene where Dean (Gosling) goes down on his wife Cindy (Williams) is truly one for the rewind and pause buttons. But the story is a meditation on a crumbling marriage and by the end, while there’s (thankfully) no clichéd cheating or double-life leading, it’s the irreversible withering away over time that sticks it to us in the end.

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