John Webb

John Webb

John Webb began his writing career at age sixteen while living in the jungles of Suriname. His writing consisted of detailed exposes regarding panther and pygmy biology, sharing tribal technology between warring sects to initiate peace talks, and ginger ale criticism.

An unfortunate jet-skiing incident led to Webb being lost in a largely uninhabited area of South America for a period of three months, where he was forced to live off the land and befriend a herd of llamas that eventually led him to civilization, which unfortunately was wracked by a violent civil war.

Not missing a beat, Webb bounced between both sides of the conflict, covering the war from the front and sacrificing his left foot and right arm in the name of journalistic integrity, and also by stepping on a land mine. Dragged away from the battle with his journal in his remaining hand, Webb’s final words before blacking out were: “Wait, I need to get the rest of this story… Barbara Streisand.”

When Webb woke he was back in the United States in an undisclosed location, which he eventually learned was a black on black DARPA research facility. Based on the high degree of the courage Webb displayed during the revolution combined with his keen writing style that skirted the edge of snark just shy of trying too hard, DARPA enlisted him (without written consent) into their B.S.G. program (Bionic Soldier of Glory). Fitted with a robotic arm and foot, Webb woke from surgery with superhuman strength, but only in his opposing hand and foot, which made certain movements awkward. However, his ability to click a mouse repeatedly and quickly was relatively unmatched outside of Korea, which made his leap into professional Starcraft 2 play a natural transition.

After being disqualified from the GSL in 2012 due to unsanctioned cyborg upgrades, Webb decided to return to his roots to write about the eSports community in general. This naturally led to Webb’s pursuit of technology-based journalism in general. Today Webb spends most of his time reading Marcus Aurelius and trying to keep up with reality television, but he still makes time to write a tech article here and there, and to punch douchebags with his robo-hand when possible.

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